It is 2017 and the single mother is still treated like a pariah. There will always be someone to offer a snide remark at work or in shared residential quarters about these mothers who though not perfect, really try their best to cater for the needs of the gifts that God bestowed on them.
On online platforms, they have become the subject of disparaging remarks on their morality, parenting abilities, financial stability, family values and so on.
A case in point is blogger Cyprian Nyakundi who actually took a swipe at celebrated radio and TV presenter Jimmi Gathu for marrying a single mother. His followers actually just fell short of holding placards and going to protest the fact that the entertainment industry icon married a single mother.
No one considered that the man was actually happy, that she fulfilled his wishes of a wife and he chose her among all other women her status in life notwithstanding.
While the world looks down on the single parent, you would think that she can run to church to find some solace from the harsh world. Sadly, the church is becoming one of the most hostile places for the single mum today. If that is not irony then I do not know what is because the church is supposed to be welcoming to sinners of all kind.
While it is ready to pray the sinners’ prayer for murderers, rapists, thieves and lay down the red carpet for politicians of questionable values or come with the fattest envelope, it will not extend the same love to the single mother.
Only last year, one the most famous churches blatantly refused to dedicate the babies whose fathers were not present and that was really sad for me. We are usually too quick to point at the children of single mothers and say how spoilt they are but we are not wing to help the mothers raise them in any way. You refuse to pray for them but will not have any qualms about talking about their wayward behaviors? Isn’t that what your prayers were meant to address? It takes a village you know.
When roles are being given to church members single mothers will also be ignored the entire time. In some churches, you are not even allowed to serve on the pulpit as long as you are not married. That is weird because if you have denounced your sins you should be good to go right? You should be able to serve in any capacity as long you are willing and have undergone the necessary training.
Most single mothers below the age of thirty-five often feel stranded as well because they are not accepted among the youth and their meetings are no longer welcoming to them. On the other hand, they do not fit in among the older women who form the majority of the women groups in church.
If you want the single mother punished for real or perceived sins, you should know that she has already been punished. Some of them were raped and harbor such heavy pain and bitterness, some of them were betrayed by men who rode off into the sunset with new women while others were ignorant and landed in trouble after the first fumbling experience.
If that is not punishment enough they had to go through pregnancy and shame alone with their partners in crime having since left them alone. Some mothers were chased away from home; their education came to an abrupt end and some became destitute. Some are living very difficult lives trying to raise fees and money for basic needs such as food and clothes for themselves and their children. They are already going through a very difficult time so that extra punishment is actually unnecessary.
According to CBN, a global Christian ministry, it seems that many churches fear what others may perceive about a single moms ministry if they were to help them. We know that God meant for marriage to be forever (Malachi 2:16, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:8). We also know that our God commands sexual purity (1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 6:13, Galatians 5:19). Does ministering to single moms mean that we, as the church, condone unwed pregnancy or divorce?
In my opinion, it does not mean that the church condones such sins it means that it is a place that the single moms can go to after acknowledging an repenting their sins. Just as with rehabilitation center that accepts drug addicts and seeks to help them be on the right path. The church has run away from the single mom for far too long and yet Jesus our very own savior welcomed such as seen in His call to the Samaritan woman.
The Bible also says that Jesus said all children should come to Him I challenge anyone to show me a verse where He said let all legitimate children come to me and the rest can go hug a transformer.
So our pastors, bishops and everyone else, open up your Sunday schools, your ministries, pulpits, bible studies to single mums as well. Just like any other person, they need spiritual nourishment and who knows? Their testimonies are just what you may need to change a few lives or give hope to the hopeless ones out there.