Toxic activism: why are we always at war?

The Kenyan social media space has been interesting of late. That is if you are not a self-loathing sadist who turns everything into an argument.

The proverbial Twitter tea, preserved for Sundays when tweeps have made progress in nursing their hangovers, has been getting served generously recently. At times, it has gotten to a point where you would need to browse from two devices to keep up with the drama.

First, there were the faux feminists celebrating in a Telegram group getting men fired from their jobs over past tweets. Before we could get over that, one of the ‘champions’ against gender violence was getting trashed for allegedly physically assaulting a man.

Men experience physical assault in the hands of women a lot because of stereotyping around speaking out on such issues. Real men don’t whine. Women are the weaker gender, how can they assault a man. You probably did something that annoyed her. Bla bla bla. While we were still thanking the guy for opening up on his ordeal, the boy child battalion came out with guns blazing.

Makes you wonder. How come with all this ‘wokeness’ and ‘calling out bullshit’, we still haven’t made any visible strides for a just and fair society?

Why are girls still getting circumcised and married off at an early age? Why are mothers still dying while giving birth? How come men are still not allowed to vent out their emotions? Why do we still not understand consent when it comes to sex? Do we even care that single mothers have to fake spouses or pay bribes to get an education for their kids?

Hypocritical society

The answer is simple. We are nothing but hypocrites. We only fight battles when there is something in it for us. Battles that will either put us in the right social standing or earn us money. Or simply because we have something against the other side. And when we pick on these battles, we completely lack objectivity.

We don’t have the spirit of selflessness. When we have satisfied our selfish egos, we move on with our lives as we wait for the next victim of our nihilism.

Let’s take the Cyprian Nyakundi war against injustices to the boychild for instance. It is a very noble cause if you ask me. But the way the message is packaged makes the agenda look totally different. Sadistic even. Monetization of relationships, among other issues he desires to address, is something we need to sit down and talk about.

Nobody wants to be loved for their money. And even ladies have encountered a guy who unapologetically sucked their purses dry and moved on to the next one. Sadly, we have normalized it with our ‘blessers’ culture. However, those ‘Nyakundi Says No’ screenshots were a game taken a little bit too far.

Dear Cate Mercy, you need new friends. The ones you currently have are deluded

There was even one where a guy was just asked for money by a lady friend so that she could visit her sick grandmother. His response was the classical ‘Nyakundi says no’ mood. Can’t you even loan money to a FRIEND to visit an ailing loved one? It’s not like they were going to buy sheesha and Kenya Cane Coconut with it! What type of friend are you? Why are even calling yourself their friend?

Resolving issues

Look at that lady who was accused of assaulting a man. When the story broke out, she tried to defend herself against the accusations. That was fruitless as her friends came out to narrate their experiences with her rage, either physically or verbally.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the public roasting she was getting. This was the moment they had been waiting for. Did they care that her anger management issues could bring harm to other people or even herself? No! All they cared about was that she had shouted at a ‘sweet’ baby for chewing on her hair clip and this was the moment to publicly shame her. The few who had the decency to pretend to care about the assault incident resorted to name-calling and abuses.

This manner of resolving issues is counter-productive. We only make the perpetrators hardened and with much more damaged characters. You find my tweets offensive? Approach me in private and ask me to delete them, or at least explain what I was driving at. Do I have volcanic rage? Talk to me about it. Try and find out why I’m always worked up. And if you have to, drag me to a therapist.

Otherwise, all we will end up with are bitter male chauvinists and raging feminists going for each other’s throats. Each side believing the other side doesn’t deserve a seat at their table. That the other side’s contribution is not needed to build a progressive society. And we will lose the little progress we’ve made. We all rise or we all sink. Your choice!

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