Sapiosexual women: 7 signs that you are one and how to handle it

Do you get turned on by intelligence, wit as well as a quick mind? Would you rather have a man show his verbal dexterity as compared to watching him show his six packs at your local gym?

Do you swear by intelligence over looks and trendy clothes? Well, you might just be a sapiosexual. The latter is someone who is attracted to the intellect of another person and not just their looks.

I used to almost exclusively date intelligent men and would easily get bored with shallow people. I agonized over this fact, thinking that I was being overly choosy and would surely die alone and be eaten by my cats. It turns out that there are many of us out there.

When responding to questions in an interview on the rise of sapiosexuality, clinical psychologist  Jill P. Weber, Ph.D. argued that words like “sapiosexual” can give “nuance to a personality and help people feel less overwhelmed by the dating world so they can specifically focus on what they truly want from a partner.” There you not alone in this and here are telltale signs that you are a sapiosexual,

  1. You know “smart” is more than just book –smart

Whenever a person mentions the word intelligence many people just think of being book-smart but sapiosexual are aware that being smart is not just about books. There are street smart people and emotional intelligence. The latter means having the ability to read feelings correctly and responding in kind. They are able to empathize as well and this really attracts sapiosexual women.

  1. Witty banter is the best foreplay for you

But who does not love witty banter? Anyway, sapiosexuals prefer witty conversations more than any kind of physical foreplay. The conversation may revolve around subjects such as art, politics and so on but his wit will still come forth. Sapiosexuals crave such kind of conversation the way some people crave sex.

  1. Unorthodox ideal dates

While some couples may make a beeline for the club or movie theatre, an ideal date for a sapiosexual person may be roaming all the aisles of the local bookstores and making casual recommendations to each other.

It is very difficult for a man who reads non-fiction books, newspapers, novels and other literature to run out great topics for interesting conversations.

  1. Humility impresses you more than his credentials

Most intelligent people have various impressive feathers in their caps but some of them do not even mention them and this really impresses you. Their humility is what speaks to you and you end up getting attracted to them.

If you do not like a person who brags about their accomplishments you may be sapiosexual. These days many people value arrogance but for Sapiosexuals humble people are more attractive and sometimes you have to brag on their behalf.

  1. Can handle conversation with various types of people

Some men can hold conversations with old men and women and the younger generation as well. This is usually over a wide range of issues done with much intelligence. Impressive huh?

  1. Grammar Nazi

Good grammar does not come to everybody as easily as you would think.  If you are a grammar Nazi you would, therefore, be very impressed by good grammar when you text or chat with him on platforms such as Facebook and Whatsapp.

  1. Detest small talk

I have never been good at small talk and actually envy my sister who can carry it along without gritting her teeth. Subjects such as the weather that normally feature in small talks leave me blank after a short exchange because am not good at small talk. Most sapiosexuals prefer deep and meaningful conversations of an intellectual nature instead of discussions over mundane things.

How to deal with being sapiosexual

It is not always easy being a sapiosexual and if you fall into this category you should know that it might take time to meet the best person for you. This will mean engaging many people that you hardly connect with in the first place.

Some sapiosexuals give updating after some time because it gets hard to find someone who suits them. Do not give up just because things are hard you can try online dating as well. You should, however, be very firm on what you want from the people you want to date. Sapiosexuals also get lonely and you may be tempted to settle which may not be a good idea. You should also know the difference between setting too high standards and settling.

Most people do not know about sapiosexuality and you may find yourself explaining the concept one too many times. This will really help you eventually narrow down to the person you really like.


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