No one should claim to be more woman than other women

You simply don’t measure up to her, she knows and embodies everything there is to be a woman. Your experiences, expertise, and knowledge that you have gained over the years must pale in comparison to hers. She knows better in every aspect of life.

As long as you have not had it as bad as she has, you cannot possibly advise her on anything. If you have not achieved as much as she has then you might as well let her lead as you follow blindly. Your sentiment on a subject that she excelled in does not matter. I mean, why are you not bowing down to her already? She has the monopoly of knowledge and the gatekeeper of what you can and cannot take in, damn everything you have heard from other quarters.

Is this ringing a bell? No? Okay, picture a group of women seated and sharing their experiences as first-time mothers. The stories range from gruesome to hilarious laced with choice words and dramatic experiences. The stories are inspiring those present while letting you know that you were not as bad as you thought you were.

If you thought God hated you by allowing you to have labor pains for twenty-five hours, someone else was at it for four days, and that is quite humbling. Everything is flowing from one animated story teller to the other until they get to the turn of the woman who had a caesarean birth.

She starts talking with a grim expression on her face, but before she gets any further she is cut short by one of the women who rudely tells her that as long as she did not give birth in the conventional way she is not woman enough! Say what? You quickly look around expecting the other women to be equally shocked at this nonsense but what will shock you more is that more women agree with these sentiments!

The woman, who is now trying to fight tears will attempt to explain that before she was sent to the theater room, she had already been in pain for twenty for three days. It could also be because she had to choose between saving the life of her child who had was already too tired after days of labor or continue pushing to fit in with what society expected of her.

No one will listen to her when she says that she only agreed to a caesarean procedure because her doctor advised her that her life was in grave danger. No one listens, and they gang up on her making her believe that she is not woman enough.

So you have several degrees, well good for you, it is certainly not a mean fete. But that is not to say that the housewife does not know anything about anything. She might spend her days attending to her children and her husband, but that does not mean that you should shout her own during the weekly estate meetings.

She might have that education, but upon agreeing with her husband, they both decided that she should take care of their children until a certain age then she can go back to work. She is not empty between the ears but just trying to d what is best for her family. Unknown to you she could be working from home so you better take several seats before you can judge her.

Just because someone does not have a ring on her fingers does not mean that she is immoral and that you are better than her. Marriage is an institution started by God but did it ever occur to you that not everyone is interested in marriage? Maybe they are interested but have not met the right person? Do not belittle their opinions on marriage just because you bear your engagement and wedding rings on your finger.

They do not live in a vacuum and are privy to much of what takes place in our families. Do not be the one to point out that they are growing old because trust me they know more than anyone but merely doing the best they can. If you have children, you are blessed beyond measure, but that does not give you a license to make snide remarks to those who do not have or are waiting wombs.

They are still women enough and certainly make good wives. Given a chance they might make good mothers, so they are not useless and no,  she is not wasting your brother’s money, but is are entitled to it because she is married to him, children or not children.

When it comes to womanhood, we are all going with the flow, learning every day, being perfected each day. No one has the complete manual on marriage, raising children, relationships, careers and other accomplishments. We are informed by knowledge, our experiences and those of others. Give others a chance, understand where they are coming from and instead of breaking their spirit, build them whenever you can.

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1 Comment

  1. Emmah Reply

    such a good article. no one has the complete manual, so lets all be fair to one another without really judging others based on our measure of success..every one is fighting a battle that we know nothing about.

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