New Year Resolutions: 10 Habits That Should Not See 2018

We are at that time of the year where we pretend to take a deep look into our lives and lie to ourselves that we will improve in the coming year. Although some of us actually do improve. We are in the ‘New Year Resolutions’ period. New year, new me. We tell ourselves, and anybody else who cares to stalk our social media profiles.

But could we be a little less selfish with our 2018 resolutions and also think of bettering our society as we better ourselves? You know, think less of getting rich at any cost (even if it’s at the expense of kids getting polio vaccines) and more of empowering our communities as we empower ourselves.

That may also mean that we stop pretending there’s something like responsible gambling when our students are blowing up school fees.Gambling is a problem that needs attending to. So we don’t pretend it’s not just because some betting company deposited money in our accounts.


Here are 10 things/habits that we should not carry over to 2018

Pretending that ‘sponsoring’ is okay

Blessers. Sponsors. Sponsoress. Call them whatever you want, but in the end, they are nothing but sugar daddies and sugar mommies. And that is prostitution, no matter what flowery name you give it. I have no intention of becoming a moral police, I can’t outdo Ezekiel Mutua’s zeal.

Families are increasingly tearing apart. Children are getting raised in environments they should not grow up in. Bitter and emotionally unstable environments. In 2018, we need to remedy that. Unless you use chicken poop for a brain, you’ll agree that unfaithfulness is a major contributor to these breakages.

If your ‘blesser’ is a rich single guy, then I have no say in whether you are dating them for their money or not. Your choice, and theirs.

But when you prey on married folks, you are crossing the line. You are hurting families. For what? A nice holiday for the gram? A posh life? A flourishing career? Let’s be honest, not everyone who sold their body for a career got what they wanted. Some, if not most, got broken souls and lost dignity. So let’s stop lying to our daughters that their bodies can get them places.

Wanting everyone to be an entrepreneur

Youth unemployment in the country stands at 46%. The solution to it? Youths shouldn’t wait for anybody to employ them. They should start their own businesses. If there are people I can’t stand, it is this ‘start your business’ bandwagon. They give me ulcers. They give me migraines. All at the same time!

Assuming all of us were to start our own businesses, who would we employ to work for us. Will we be procurement officers, financial officers, customer care all at the same damn time? How would someone like me with nil accounting skills balance my books? Does that make sense even inside your head? Besides, where are we to get the capital from?

Some of us are quite okay with ‘slaving’ for others. Let us be! Please. Go and start your business and employ us.

Pretending something isn’t bad because it doesn’t affect you

A day before the repeat presidential elections on October 26, I was chatting with a friend about the political tension in the country. After a while, I asked him if we could talk about cartoons because his indifference was too painful to comprehend.

Kenya can burn to the ground as long as that doesn’t interfere with his Wi-Fi connection because he needs that for his academic writing gigs. When chaos broke out the following day, he dug into his pockets for a plane ticket to Kisumu saying,“Nairobi hakukaliki bana.”   (Nairobi was no longer safe)

In 2018, please let us not ask questions like, “Akiiba pesa ya serikali, we inakuumia nini?” (Why are you so concerned if he steals the government’s money?)

Abuse of social media power

If you still don’t realize how powerful social media is, kindly deactivate your social media accounts. It is so powerful that tweets made in 2011 are costing people jobs in 2017. Kindly use that power well. Do not use it to cause people misery.

Suppressing men’s emotional needs

It is 2017. It is a ‘progressive’ society that recognizes that no gender is greater than the other. There are however faux feminists who only want men to be in touch with their emotional sides if it is of benefit to them. Otherwise, a man has no business openly displaying his emotions.

In the new year, it should be illegal to tell a guy to ‘man up’ or avoid being petty. We will have reduced cases of depression and suicides by a third.

Mafisi Sacco Telegram group

If someone wants to share their nudes on this platform, well and good. Maybe they are hoping to get spotted by a porn producer. But stealing photos from people’s social media profiles or leaking someone’s nudes to post in this group is downright wrong. No debate about it!

Laughing off your children’s lack of mannerisms

When Sheldon tells off guests who sit in his ‘spot’ in Big Bang Theory, it is funny. Cool even. When your kid tells a guest to get off their chair and physically tries to drag them off, it is not funny. It is plain rude. And embarrassing.

This is not a moment where you laugh dryly and say that the kid likes that particular chair. You don’t have to skin them alive and use their soft skins for a doormat like a real African parent would do, but a rebuttal would be welcome.

Excusing your kid’s bad behaviour, especially in public, is not welcome in 2018. Keep the excuses to yourself.

Overcharging your friends because they are supposed to ‘promote your business’

In 2017, we did amazing. We promoted our friends’ businesses. When we couldn’t buy from them, we gave them referrals. In 2018, it is their time to repay the favour. We are not going to pay a shilling more than other clients just because ‘we are friends.’ The economy is bad for everyone, ala!

Religious intolerance

This is worse than political intolerance in my opinion.  Because despite our different political beliefs, we all seem to agree that Moses Kuria is most of the times a disgrace and that Sakaja seems like a very sober politician.

We also seem to disagree that our female politicians should be treated with a little bit respect by their male counterparts. And that they shouldn’t play the gender card when they fail in their duties.

The bile seen against certain religious outfits in 2017 shouldn’t be tolerated in 2018. Let people worship as they want, as long as they aren’t interfering with your rights and freedoms.

Unpaid internships

Dear employer, thanks for the opportunity to improve my professional skills. However, as you may be very much aware, exposure doesn’t pay bills and meet basic needs. Please, we need to be paid in more than exposure. Let’s say, in money value. Thank you. Yours sincerely, your intern.

Bonus: Ladies, it is not a bad thing for a man to turn down your advances. Nothing is wrong with you. And nothing is wrong with him. He just doesn’t feel a connection between you two. It is just the same way you turn down men, only that you are on the receiving end. Shoot your shot, but don’t get mad when the shot misses the target. Also, hints, in this confusion about consent and fake rape claims, are not enough.


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