Men also have feelings

Men do cry. Unlike women who are usually very outspoken about their feelings, men have different ways of expressing what they feel depending on their environment and background.

While growing up, men are told not to be ‘cry babies’ who complain about everything and are quick to show their emotions. They call it being tough. But men have feelings too. They get hurt and at times they cry. They are not as strong as they make ladies think they are.

Some men are more emotional than women.They can be as petty as women can be but they choose not to. Eric Winston insisted that many ladies want men to embrace their feelings when it is positive and beneficial to them.

“When women hurt men, the man should be strong and stop being petty. That’s how society treats men. If you are hurting, be a man and don’t whine about it. Men suffer in silence and the ones that come out are ridiculed even by their fellow men,” he said.

Incidences of men being physically and verbally abused by women have become too common in society today. Take for example the case of a Nairobi man who went to the police to report his wife for verbally abusing him and instead of the police helping him they laughed at him and asked him for evidence. Could this be the reason why men die faster than women? Does the emotional stress eventually lead to depression?

“Some ladies want to behave as if they are doing the man a favor by being in a relationship with them. We pretend we don’t have feelings and make you think you are right. At times we need someone to vent to mostly a lady and in the thick of things sex happens. Women call it cheating. We call it sympathy sex,” he said.

“When we argue, according to women we are always wrong and anything we say is an excuse and we are expected to apologize then we go and find someone who is willing to listen to our side of the story,” Eric continued.

Most women, however, would be quick to dismiss the above claims. Majority of ladies will insist that men just don’t want to share their feelings because they are afraid they would look weak.

“I personally would love it if a man could open up to me and just let me know what’s going on inside. I don’t like this brave face they put on yet someone is being consumed by anger deep within them. Opening up doesn’t mean you will get judged or you will become a lesser person. I believe it even makes a relationship stronger.” Said Gloria, a social worker in Nairobi.

Women have been called out many times for using information shared in confidence against their spouses when arguments ensue. Additionally, many men have complained about their women sharing confidential information about their relationships with their friends.

David who was once a victim of this says that there is nothing as humiliating as this in a man’s life.

He said, “I had a girlfriend who could never keep her mouth shut about things in our relationship. The most frustrating thing was she would go and gossip about me and how I haven’t done this and that to her friends. So whenever they would come to our house they would come with a very bad attitude towards me. Why should I be with such a woman who does not respect me?” Also, if they want to find a decent girl that won’t nag, gossip or badmouth them to their friends, some just take a look at girls!

With the rapid growth of social media platforms, WhatsApp groups have been formed whose main intentions are to discuss men, and their ‘annoying behaviors’ as some members of these groups might call it. Many experts would advise that instead of shouting at a man and not listening to his side of the story or to what he has to say one should offer a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to their partner because it gives one a great sense of comfort.

Nelson had a similar thing to say about the same issue

“ I would do anything for a woman who actually listens to me and gives great counsel when I need it. I think this is why most men cling on to their moms even after marriage because they offer an ear to listen and give one good advice. Women need to start listening to their men. Sometimes when one comes home all they need is peace and calm, not noise and more noise.!”

In most cases, women will be concerned about their feelings and how they get hurt. They often complain about how unfaithful men are forgetting that these men are also human and can only take so much. Listening and understanding are still key in every relationship, including platonic friendships. One must, however, not push their luck and expect benefits from a friend.

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