Today, people are quite held up with the hustles of life and people rarely have time for themselves, let alone family.
However, family get togethers are a great way to keep in touch and get abreast with each other. It is not only a way of bridging the generational gap in the family but also gives assurance to members that family has got their back.
Despite the good intentions,things can go awfully wrong in a family get together in a matter of seconds just as with any other social function. You may say or do something that could turn the party into a war zone in a snap. You don’t want to be the one who broke the bond that held the family together.
Here are some of the things you should keep off of to avoid being a party pooper;
Avoid putting people in classes according to money and achievements
This is not the time for those “Maji ya Dasani ni ya watu wa Nairobi, watu wa nyumbani mtatumia maji ya mtungi” (Only Nairobi people can take bottled water) announcements. Please. You are family. No matter how much achievements or money some of you may have, you are all equal. Do not give preferential treatment to others unless you really intend to make others feel left out or inadequate. It may be the last time your family ever gets together for a happy occasion.
Unruly and ill-disciplined kids
We all raise our kids differently. We may have our own definitions of what discipline entails. There are however general principles of what is and what is not acceptable in a social function. Let your kids know the boundaries.
‘He’s just a kid’ is not an acceptable apology for your spoilt brat pointing out that that aunt who survived a stroke has a crooked face. Teach your kids from making negative comments about relatives, whether in private or publicly.
Do not let your children feel entitled. They should not scream and throw tantrums whenever they want something. In the same breath, they should be picky just for the sake of it. It will hurt grandma if they refuse a gift just because ‘they don’t like it’. Unless it will bring them harm, they should learn to cheerfully accept well-intended gifts.
And while we are still at it, kids who run around knocking over people and things spoil the fun. Do not tell us that you can’t keep up with his energy. He is not Hulk. If he has to run around, get him some free space. It is also for his safety.
Did I confide in you about how a one-night stand robbed me of the iPhone I was with last time? Is our cousin Mary having marital problems and her hubby rarely comes home nowadays? Well, there is a reason we whispered it you and not say it out loud during introductions. We wanted it to stay private.
Gossiping to me about other relatives not only makes it awkward being with you but also with them. Afterward, I am always going to have an ‘I know your life ain’t as smooth as your smile’ attitude when interacting with them.
Do not be social cancer that silently eats away the fabric holding the family together. Besides, how sure am I that you won’t talk about me if you tell me about them?
Hitting on relatives and/or their spouses
We are aware the law allows sex between consenting cousins. But the get together is not the time to hit on that cousin you have always had a crush on. If they say no, it will make things awkward for you and for everyone else. Even if they say yes, things will still be awkward for everyone involved. Keep your perverted self in check. Do it some other time.
Dear uncle, I also don’t appreciate you wanting to keep in touch with my girlfriend after the party. Her voice is melodic, her hair smooth, she is a beauty to behold, her skin tone right. She knows I have already told her a thousand times. She does not need to hear it from you. That’s why I am with her in the first place. She has a great personality and would fit right into the family? That’s why I tagged her along to the event. If you have to compliment anyone, compliment me on my selection skills.
Comments on someone’s looks
Look, I wasn’t living in a secluded cave before the get together happened. The people I interact with daily have probably commented a million times on how much weight I have gained lately. What are your intentions anyway in telling me about my weight when I am the line to fill my plate with food?
Keep your comments about people’s looks to yourself. Some will even take offense for pointing out that they seem to have lost weight. Someone may have too much makeup, but the face is not yours.
Wedding talks are off-topic
Dear older aunts, please pay keen attention. We will get married when we get married. You will also see your grandkids when we get kids. Until then, keep calm. Period! We don’t appreciate you bringing up the topic at every slight opportunity.
In the first place, we are having trouble getting into and keeping relationships in the first place. Sometimes, we are not sure we even want to get married at all. We know telling you this could break your heart. So please let us be.
Finally, if you are in charge of the food, please make sure it is great. It may be the one thing some of us are there to get. We will keep in touch through the family Whatsapp group and see your latest look through your endless Instagram pics.
No, we don’t have a problem with the family. We just suck at conversations and prefer to keep our mouths busy through eating. We are also trying to gain weight for those relatives who can’t restrain from commenting on our weights