Waking up to his text, chatting throughout the day as you giggle into your laptop while shamelessly taking up your bosses time, exchanging photos all these characterize today’s online relationships.
Online relationships are the rage right now with platforms such as Facebook and Whatsapp making it easier to talk to each other every day. Just log into your messenger and you will see the man of your dreams working or walking as they talk to you, easy pizzy right?
While all these sound good, there comes a time when the two lovebirds will decide enough of this online relationship let us meet each other and take things to the next level.
Some couples have actually been successful after months and years of dating as evidenced by some of the wedding programs aired in Kenya. Others, however, do not tell a similar story and no it does not end with a blushing and gushing bride hooked to her groom’s elbow.
The latter story ends in tears with someone leaving in a huff to go back to their country or town. Yep! The offline relationship did not take off as expected, effectively calling time of death on a beautiful online relationship.
So what are some of the reasons why flourishing online relationships fail to take off in the real world?
- Superficial presentation
According to Psychology Today, we tend to form impressions of others based on subtle characteristics and general demeanor. It becomes easier for us to form impressions on our partners with each piece of new information that they give us. Online profiles and conversation may not give you much to work with and all you will get is superficial information meaning that we are not getting the whole story about the person. It is after meeting the person that the whole story about them comes out their partner in unable to handle it and runs for the nearest hills.
- High Expectations
By the time an online couple meets offline, they already have their expectations of each other and these can cost them a smooth transition from online to offline relationships. Stories abound of people who were dating the perfect person online but offline they were totally below expectations.
The expectations can be in form of looks where the other person has been using apps such as filters on Instagram to enhance their appearance. You will never see a pimple, blemish or wrinkle on their face. Their hair is always on point and they are always in nice outfits.
People bring their best manners to online conversations as well and you will never see them misbehave in any way. However, once the couple gets into the real world they realize their expectations are shattered and they get disappointed.
- Someone lied
Am sure when you saw this subheading you wondered why would someone even lie and the truth will come out when they meet? Well, human folly never ends and will never cease to amaze. In an online relationship, some people lie about their age, weight, height, jobs, careers, cars and so on. Well the truth will always come out and when it does one person will feel betrayed and trust between the two will be broken, making for a non-functional relationship.
Any relationship is likely to fail if there is no compromise between the partners involved. At some point, someone might have to move house, job or even to a new country and start a whole new life. In the event that both parties are unwilling to compromise, they will have to part ways. This is often sad but what to do?
- Real Flaws
When an online couple finally meets offline they will realize that one or both of them have serious flaws. These flaws are not because of misrepresentation as I presented up there but these are character traits that you are born with and while they may not present a real problem to other people, they may be a deal breaker for others.
Is it possible for a couple to meet online and actually have a healthy offline relationship? Yes, it is if both of them are willing to work at it. One way through which you can help the situation is to manage your expectations and not be too quick to write someone off just because they presented a few flaws. Remember you are not perfect yourself.
You should also be willing to compromise on one or a few things.If you are always sticking to your position you risk sabotaging all your relationships whether online or offline. This, does not, however, mean that you should be a doormat and let everyone step all over you.
You may also need to keep an open mind throughout and not push things to work out at the first meeting. It is also good to take one day at a time and try to learn each other offline the same way you did online.