They leave you bewildered, in pain and your self-esteem is likely to suffer a serious blow when they just walk off into the sunset never to return.
Welcome to the world of the commitment-phobic man that can be nothing but a nightmare for a woman who is trying to navigate the often treacherous world of dating. It is, however, important to note that such men also have major problems making decisions in different areas of life, especially those that involve other people.
While they may have problems relating to people, they may not have a problem with getting a pet, buying a car or a house. When starting out, he might be all charming but when the relationship kicks off he will take you in so many circles that you will feel like you have just been in a whirlwind.
Let us not even start talking about the time he will have wasted for you. To avoid all these you need to watch out for the signs below and run for the nearest hills as soon as they start manifesting in the relationship
- Past relations were noncommittal or short
When your new catch starts speaking about his past relationships and you realize that they were all short or did not have any form of commitment, you should know that he is unlikely to fully commit to you This should be enough to have you packing out of the relationship.
Just as with everyone else, a commitment-phobe also needs some intimacy. However, since they cannot get their needs from a person who is close to them, they opt to compensate their need for intimacy with being quite sexually active, sometimes it borders on being promiscuous.
- Reluctant to label relationships
If you are in a relationship with a commitment-phobe you will not have any significant conversation with him about your relationship. Despite having dated him for several years now you will be at a loss whenever anybody asks about the nature of your relationship. To such a person calling you girlfriend is committing to you and at that point, he would sooner cross a river with crocodiles than commit to anybody.
- Forget about the L-word
Waiting to hear the three magical words? Well, the commitment-phobe will not be saying them to you soon because they are not only afraid of having feelings that are afraid of expressing them as well.
- Quite Unpredictable
Unpredictability is another frightening trait of men are afraid of commitment. Some days they seem normal and actually treat you like the queen you are only to start avoiding you the next day.
- Do not have close friends
Although they may have many acquaintances, commitment-phobic men do not have any close friends. This means that they might have a really hard time when they need to share their issues because they do not have any close friends. If you notice this just please treat it as a red flag.
- Poor communication
Poor communication is another trait that you should really watch out for as you date a new person. You will notice that you send him detailed texts about your day expecting him to reciprocate or to ask you about what you told him, only to get a vague answer. All you will get from him are ‘K,’ or ‘Wow.’
Granted, there are people who are just poor at texting but you have to be careful before coming to that conclusion because the man could really be emotionally unavailable.
- Vague schedule
“I’m really busy with this project, but we can get together sometime next week, ” or ” Sorry I did not see your texts until now” are texts that should really worry you if they are done repeatedly. We have all failed to see a text but if it keeps happening then there is a big problem and it is time you two talked candidly.
9.You won’t hear from him after a great date
Commitment-phobes rarely initiate contact after a date. This happens after dates that also went really well and you will realize that you are always having long periods of silence after dates and unless you do something he will not do anything about it. So in a nutshell, be prepared to always be dong the romantic legwork in the relationship
10.It is all about their convenience
Dates will always be planned according to their schedule which we have already established as being too busy. You might get an invite to a bar when his favorite team is plating and once the game is over he cannot wait to rush out the door like the devil himself was after him.
Another thing is his timing he will tell you he is free in the next two hours and expects you drop everything for him regardless of where you are and what you were doing. So unfair.
After going through these qualities I can only say that no good can come from such a relationship and having the strength to walk away will save you a lot of heartache.